Sunday, January 26, 2014

Tattoos


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Tattoos

I don’t have one single tattoo on my skin,
But I could have so many
And paint my body with all the quotes and advice
I’ve gotten over the years,

But

When it comes to needles I’m not the best.

Although, if I could stand the pain,
I would imprint Steve Jobs' words
Somewhere in my lower left arm,
Quoting at the Stanford Address, 
“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.”
Because sometimes I take myself
A little more seriously than I should.

On my upper left arm I would have
Ella Fitzgerald, reminding me that:
“It isn't where you came from;
It's where you're going that counts."
So that I don’t stress out too much about
The beautiful journey that is life.

From my good friend Ryan I’d have
On my right deltoid, hidden, but always in
The back reminding me that change is good, saying:
“When you can no longer change the situation,
it's time to yourself.”
So I remember that
It isn’t always my way or the highway.

On my right bicep I would have:
“Be happy,” from my mother,
Followed on my left bicep by my friend Charis  
trying once to snap me out of it, saying:
“What good is an unhappy person to the world?”
So that I never sulk for too long.

Somewhere where I haven’t figured out yet,
Probably running down my right shin,
I would take what I think to be the best line 
From the book Eat, Pray, Love, 
Which says:
“When the past has past from you at last, let go.”
Reminding me to learn, but to not hang on.

And from the same book I would have:

“Fear? Who cares?” So that I remember that fear
Is not to be feared.  

From the movie Maid in Manhattan,
I would have, on my left shin:
“What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”
To remember that failing is human and necessary,
But that rising is paramount to our existence.  

My mother’s words would make
An appearance again, this time  
Written in the middle of my chest:
“The sun comes out for everyone,” she says
To remind me that God loves us all,
And that we’re all equal under the sun
In this world.

The feel good quotes that I don’t know who wrote:

“Miles to go before I sleep”
“A positive attitude is contagious”             
“Have faith that you will reach your destination”
“Nothing that isn’t worth it, is not a little scary”
“Unencumbered by history, invent the impossible,” and 
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”

Would go down both my upper thighs, so that if I ever weaken
I know always to move forward.  

From a foreign movie
If I could write on my vocal cords, I would have:
“Speak as if there were no tomorrow to take it back”
As Lord knows I know exactly how to say the wrong thing.
Unintentionally, however, unforgiving.  

But at the same time, I would write
what my lover said to me once:
“You’re blessed to be a blessing, Cassy.”
To remind myself of the good I’ve done
in this life.

My friend Jamie once said to me:
“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”
Which tells me to draw and accept that I can’t erase,
So I better be able to learn from my mistakes.
This, I would put all over the palms of my hands.

From an old friend, quoting the Beatles,
Around my belly button, I’d remind myself:
“The love you give is equal to the love you take.”
Because at the core of my being  
I simply and deeply believe this to be true. 

On my left foot, I’d always walk strong
with what my good friend Josh said to me once:
“Never settle for less than the absolute most
That you deserve in anything that life has to offer.”

Followed on my right foot by what
Madonna once said:
“Better to live one year as a tiger
Than one hundred as a sheep.”

By my heart, I would take all these
Quotes and summarize, what I think they say:

“Feel and breathe in the moment.
The future will come.
You are the master of your own definition.
Ask for forgiveness when you’ve made a mistake.
Learn from it and move on.
Take in how beautiful you really are as
an imperfect human, and as a creation of life.
Because all that I am, I make.”  

Tattoos are not for me, and
Since I couldn’t handle the pain
of getting all of these quotes on my skin,
I’ll have to keep them to myself and hope
That I never lose my mind so that I can remember the
Little pieces of advice I’ve received over the years, 
From quite a few powerful minds
That were there for me  
At the right place, 
At the right time.

I am a Peruvian-born, American-citizen,
French culture fanatic, raised one summer
By a few countries who likes to try to remember
To breathe a little deeper and enjoy
Life a little more, because: 

“One day [my] life will flash before [my] eyes.
[I want to] make sure it’s worth watching.”
-- Unknown.


©2014 Cassandra Huidobro

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Masterpiece

89-

Masterpiece


While you slept in my arms last night,
I was certain I was holding a masterpiece of God.
I was certain I couldn't move, or I would wake up
from a beautiful dream about holding the love of my life.
Most importantly, I was afraid I would wake you up
and you'd realize
How human I really am.

And after I got up, and our cat snuck in, in my place
I thought that maybe, just maybe
I could miss work today
And not deprive my senses
Of your exquisite presence

And I wondered,
It's not only love that's enrapturing
It's the feeble essence of the night wondering
If the stars were ever meant to shine and
mesmerize the way they do, like you do.

I begged  
that I'll never lack the strength to bend my knees
and ask for one more valued day
and whatever comes with it
as long as you're in it.

I wondered as I stared at you on our bed
If you flat out can't see
that I'm the nerd and you are the cool kid.

But we grew up
and here we are.

So I've come to find out
That there are certain things you just don't wonder
and you just let life take you for a ride
without asking why
you deserve what you think is an impossible gift.

Because I know I deserve you and that you deserve me.
And still. Sometimes I look at you and I wonder.

Please forgive me for staring at you still. 


©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Colors


88- 


Colors

Oh! how I liked the red on your cheeks
After we first kissed.

And the green of desire that invaded
Our bodies after.

I remember

Your shinny blue eyes
Trying to peek and see
If the gold bed was ready for us two
Lovers to meet.

I remember

The indigo in the room
That covered the walls with the scent of
Violet invading
Our senses, leading us
To the yellow sheets
That expected a fluid massacre, of
Two lovers protected under a rain bowed sky, 
Kindly blessing the night. 


©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

Friday, October 25, 2013

-20

-20

Para no ser como él; lo tengo cerca.

¿Cómo hacer un Neruda?
Con mucha pena y mucho corazón.
Con experiencias hechas y tenidas,
Vividas y reñidas, y con mucho dolor.

Nunca quiero hacer un Neruda;
Sin embargo, muchas veces en mi vida,
Ya lo hice.

Escribir versos que no son míos
Ha sido imposible
Tengo mucho que es tibio aun en mis sentidos.
Deprimida no lo he estado
Por que he dejado el pasado en el olvido
En el espacio entre el dentro y afuera,
Nunca he podido vivir.

En el presente donde te duele
Y te las aguantas
Por ya viene de nuevo hasta que aprendas,
Ahí es donde yo vivo.

Donde el aire deja de venir al oído
Para no escuchar la cuna de un niño
Y no recordar lo que hayas vivido.

Donde la vista
Invoca la memoria
Sin tener vivencia
De la sobrevivencia
En la que te has sentido.

Ahí, tampoco he vivido.

¿Ves? No puedo escribir un Neruda.
No puedo ser como él.
Mi veinte siempre estará vacío,
Y Neruda siempre estará conmigo.


©2013 Cassandra Huidobro