Monday, April 28, 2014

Out of Pride

55-

Out of Pride


A broken promise,
just one promise.
The one thing you said you’d never do,
you did.

Nothing really should’ve happened,
I could’ve just held you and said
that all people make mistakes.

Instead, I treated you like a traitor
and inconsistencies of my brain
took over my voice,
and I found myself spiteful and
out of control,

And tried to teach you a lesson
by holding my eyes closed
pleading that you leave our home.

Ashamed and crying, and without
consolation, I knew your eyes
tried to make contact with my gaze,
and, unsuccessful,
You walked out our door.

What have I done?

And fear set in.
And a weight fell on my chest.
And I was shocked at myself.

And instead of chasing you,
I didn’t call you
just to teach you a lesson.

But all I wanted to do is
get off my high horse and
bring you back home.

But my pride didn’t let me go
and my feet felt stuck,
and I stayed put.
And I tried to convince myself in those few seconds,
that maybe freedom would be best. 

But I know, I just know
I should’ve chased you
and forgiven this ridiculous fault.

I’m not perfect and I should’ve known,
that freedom from you would forever
shackle me to the eternal wall
that my mind explores
wondering
why I let you go.

And my soul morose knows
that there’ll be no more nights of us
looking up at the stars.

Because I made the biggest mistake of my life so far.  

Something I thought it’d be for granted
Now I yield to someone else.
Out of pride.


©2014 Cassandra Huidobro