The Same

23- (Second version - First, never posted)

The Same

Take a moment

To breathe in the night.

Take a second to

See the streets.

I promise you

Will grow up

In a lighter place

Than I did.

I will fight for

Us.

I will make it all right.

It will be our despair

But our rights we will

Attain.

Walls of stones have made us strong.

You will bloom in the dark.

The memory of times

Gone by

Will remind us too late

That we should have

Fought long ago for it all,

Not just for parts of the same.

When your pillow takes your head,

You will hardly know this day.

You will think you had me one day,

But you won’t recognize my caress.

Like the sleeper of the valley,

I will rest by Mother Earth.

When you begin

To fall asleep,

There will be a moment

When you’ll twitch.

You will think it a dream

But it will be me,

Making you aware

That our lives did link.

Take care of her. She will need me.

 Align your words,

Think of a metaphor and

Write me a letter when you are old.

I will wait.

I’ll come back

From time to time to remind you of today.

In your dreams

You will see

How proud of me you should be.

The same. We will be same.

But not without long decades of

Hard games.

When you breathe deep,

Imagine that I am here.

Stretch your arms.

Lean back on the grass that I have

Seeded for you and think of me.

You will feel sad.

I already do.

If I come back, I will

Never read this to you.

I will enjoy every moment

That life will give us together.

I love you. I’ll see you in the

Morning light, where the

Fears await and where I

Can make things right.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Words

30-

Words.

Listen:

You begged for a kiss,

And when it came it was

Bliss,

And when our eyes

Spoke,

I knew I was

Done.

And then my tongue

Slipped and I tried my

Speech,

And when I did

It was cold.

I was lost.

What’s the use

Of speaking three

Languages if my

Lips freeze and my

Tongue slips when

I try to speak?

The words

you said

Carried your heart,

But I said nothing.

My thoughts creased.

I know how to say many words

But I can’t speak.

Please feel what I feel!

Never wonder if I love the crystal

In the light that glistens

In your eyes  

Each day.

Never wonder if I love the slight

Opening of your lips

When I know we are about to kiss.

Never wonder if I love the delicate

Slant in your eyes, peaking through

When our tongues meet.

Never wonder if I love that I childishly pull away

First,

So that you can retain me

For one second more.

Never wonder if your sensual touch

Has the power to withhold my speech

In every way known

To every human in this world.

Because it does.

What’s the use of speaking three languages

If when I am around you

I can’t speak?

My prose is all

Yours,

But my speech

Remains alone.

Look into my eyes and

Never wonder,

Because I can’t speak.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Take a seat

27-

Take a seat.

Take a seat…

Come with me.

I wanted to show you

How I really feel.

You are younger.

I am not.

But you enjoy

Every ounce of

My bones. 

Take a seat…

You are free

To love me just

Like I am.  

Don’t sit down,

If you think

You won’t come alive

In my arms.

Take a seat.

Lay me down.

Throw yourself back.

Let me touch you.

Take your clothes.

Glide them here.

I’ll take care

Of what you think

You need.

All the time.

All the patience.

Meet us here today.

Will you go with me?

Do we belong in this?

Can we choose a person

And make it work?

Or is it pre-determined,

Like religions taught?

Come with me...

I’ll sit down.

Can the periods of in our

Writing really slow us down?

It is prose: don’t run the commas,

Practice the semi-colons; and 

At the ellipsis, let me continue

To take your breath

Inside my lips

And bite your tongue

With my desirous teeth.

It’s a challenge

Not to do more.

But can we, please?

Not just tonight. 

I will fall. 

  

My heart decided,

As soon as we started,

That it could, against my will,

Take you all in.

Stay with me.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Yield.

26-

Yield.

Let the words go through me…

I never thought I’d want to be

With such a perfect being

In the story I have

Written of this life.

Slow we started,

Slow we love,

Fast we talk.

Nothing can stop

The flow of our words.

I am scared.

Let the words go.

If I say it, will it be

Enough for tomorrow?

I need to wait

To make sure,

Just so sure,

That I am ready to

Enter

In the contract

With harmony

And pain.

With love

And Jealousy.

With Anguish

And bliss…

…Again.

Or…

Could we just have fun

This time, without

Being angry at the

Stories in our lives?

Without brining in

The past?

Simply enjoying who

We are?

What life has made of us?

What we have learned?

Where we are today?

Why not?

Why compare?

What is this life made of

If not of chances

And risks

We are willing to

Take?

Stars, bless me tonight!

I have to try.

I have to see

If she’s for me.

Will I hurt?

Will we dance?

Will we stay?

Will it work?

Can we grow old?

Only one way to find out.

Heart! Take me through

It day by day.

Let it be

What it will be.

Let me be ready,

To endure the sweet surrender

That only a relationship

Knows how to

Breathe.   

For a single chance
I yield. Again.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Forbidden

25-

Forbidden

And now it’s me.

I made the sweetest tasting mistake.

The preaching.

The praying.

The avoidance.

Nothing could stop me from touching

Tonight.

I wanted to.

I knew it was wrong.

I knew we’d hurt someone

Although it was over long ago.

We had a choice.

We laid in bed.

We only touched.

Nothing more.

Emotions took

Place of our hands

And our imaginations

Ran away

With our touch,

With our hands,

With our reason,

And we touched.

Nothing more.

I didn’t feel your soul.

I didn’t feel your lips.

My fingers did not wander.

But I felt your breath

Take my breath away

While our faces contemplated

Too closely at all,

If what we were doing

Was wrong.

Was it?

Is there an inch of love

We can recuperate from

This night?

Can we be forgiven by

Touching the forbidden

And longing for

A brighter song?

For having a heavy and tender touch

Full of emotions ripped right from

The soul?

How much time do I

Have to wait to be

Your love?

Will you do the same

With someone else?

Or was it not wrong enough

To think that this could

Happen to us as well?

I will wait for now.

I want to.

I want to see

After time goes by,

And the gods forget

That we shouldn’t have,

What happens when

They realize

That we had wanted to do it

For longer than one night.

Now we just lean back,

Waiting for the forgiveness that

Our sweet and sensual mistake

Deserves and see, if one day,

The universe pulls us together again.

Patience, dear friend.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Dream

21-

Dream.

It was a dream, wasn’t it?

You weren’t really here.

I thought you were telling me,

How to fix myself.

How to look better.

How dared you?

How dared I?

We needed to live our lives.

One year of bliss.

One year of worry.
One year of hell.

Three regular years.

You wanted more.

In the end, you needed more.

All you had to do was tell me.

But on a note

You bid

Farewell to our three

Normal years.

And I?

Wept. Of course.

On a note?

You left endless wondering of a mind

That needn’t to be punished like that.

Coward.

At least I always said how I felt.

I guess you were not the right person

To tell? Who was I supposed to,

Sometimes in sorrow,

Trust with the hollow of

My worried mind?

Not you. I now that now.

I wish I had then. I was always strong.

Why did you have to wait?

A string that is long due to be cut

Becomes brittle in the end.

I had the right to hear it.

Do you think I didn’t know that

You longed for someone else

In your mind?

You were unfaithful.

You didn’t have to touch.

Turns out, a broken heart

Can break even more

When hit with the right note.

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro

Twenty-four

24-

Twenty-four

I think I did love you.

I’m not sure I ever did.

Yet I know I did.

I could try to be sad

But why?

I don’t remember loving you.

They say I did.

They say I gave you all of my heart.

They say we had a life.

I could try to be sad.

The memory of our lives

Has gone by.

Under the stars, I wonder if I

Should be sad.

I don’t remember.

It was too hard.

Losing you was, they say,

Never in our plans.

I could try to be sad,

I could cut these flowers and

Throw them up in the sky to

Watch them fall like our love fell.

But I am not sad.

I know I loved you.

The pain was too deep.

My mind sailed away.

And now I’m back only to

Find out that I forget

How much I cared.

I could try to be sad, I could

Try to cry under the stars, but they

Say it was your choice. I think

I loved you. Maybe I still do. Do I?

I don’t know.

I could try to be sad for what we had.

My mind is lucid now. It went to Hell

And back. I could try to salvage what we had,

But why?

You left.

I could say: The stars are beautiful, my love.

Let’s go and sit outside.

I could ask: Why do your eyes shine so brightly?

Is it to make my heart this happy?

But I have forgotten what it was to love

In such a way.

I could take your hand and caress it around my face.

I could take your tears and dry them with my skin.

I could write about the time,

That I don’t remember now,

You gave me a ring under

The rain, kissing me and

Asking me to always stay.

I could write about many things,

But I’m not sad.

I don’t love you anymore.

But in days gone by, maybe I did.

This is the last time

I kiss you goodbye.

My hand and my pen will no

Longer meet with your name

In mind.

This is my last prose to you.

I promised my beating heart,

That the one who called herself

For so long

The love of my life,

Would be out of my head at last.

Did this really happen to us?

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro