Masterpiece

89-

Masterpiece

While you slept in my arms last night,

I was certain I was holding a masterpiece of God.

I was certain I couldn't move, or I would wake up

from a beautiful dream about holding the love of my life.

Most importantly, I was afraid I would wake you up

and you'd realize

How human I really am.

And after I got up, and our cat snuck in, in my place

I thought that maybe, just maybe

I could miss work today

And not deprive my senses

Of your exquisite presence

And I wondered,

It's not only love that's enrapturing

It's the feeble essence of the night wondering

If the stars were ever meant to shine and

mesmerize the way they do, like you do.

I begged  

that I'll never lack the strength to bend my knees

and ask for one more valued day

and whatever comes with it

as long as you're in it.

I wondered as I stared at you on our bed

If you flat out can't see

that I'm the nerd and you are the cool kid.

But we grew up

and here we are.

So I've come to find out

That there are certain things you just don't wonder

and you just let life take you for a ride

without asking why

you deserve what you think is an impossible gift.

Because I know I deserve you and that you deserve me.

And still. Sometimes I look at you and I wonder.

Please forgive me for staring at you still. 

©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

Colors

88- 

Colors

Oh! how I liked the red on your cheeks

After we first kissed.

And the green of desire that invaded

Our bodies after.

I remember

Your shinny blue eyes

Trying to peek and see

If the gold bed was ready for us two

Lovers to meet.

I remember

The indigo in the room

That covered the walls with the scent of

Violet invading

Our senses, leading us

To the yellow sheets

That expected a fluid massacre, of

Two lovers protected under a rain bowed sky, 

Kindly blessing the night. 

©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

-20

-20

Para no ser como él; lo tengo cerca.

¿Cómo hacer un Neruda?

Con mucha pena y mucho corazón.

Con experiencias hechas y tenidas,

Vividas y reñidas, y con mucho dolor.

Nunca quiero hacer un Neruda;

Sin embargo, muchas veces en mi vida,

Ya lo hice.

Escribir versos que no son míos

Ha sido imposible

Tengo mucho que es tibio aun en mis sentidos.

Deprimida no lo he estado

Por que he dejado el pasado en el olvido

En el espacio entre el dentro y afuera,

Nunca he podido vivir.

En el presente donde te duele

Y te las aguantas

Por ya viene de nuevo hasta que aprendas,

Ahí es donde yo vivo.

Donde el aire deja de venir al oído

Para no escuchar la cuna de un niño

Y no recordar lo que hayas vivido.

Donde la vista

Invoca la memoria

Sin tener vivencia

De la sobrevivencia

En la que te has sentido.

Ahí, tampoco he vivido.

¿Ves? No puedo escribir un Neruda.

No puedo ser como él.

Mi veinte siempre estará vacío,

Y Neruda siempre estará conmigo.

©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

Wherever you are (short version)

117-

Wherever you are…

There’s something explosive

In the veins of notion

That instills emotion

To all the commotion

Of the feelings you’ll have

Once you’ve freed your mind.

Come on out….

Here we are.

Not recruiters,

Just open embrace

Ready to erase

The pain that you may have felt.

Smile.

Things are not always what they seem

And we are here to let you see

That there’s a community that

Breathes a similar journey, but this time, in peace.

Come on out.

No sticks and stones.

Maybe just a little drama.

But come on in, and welcome home.

One day,

You gave yourself two choices.

Lucky for me,

Someone interrupted your secret plans,

And you were able to go on with your life,

And you came out of it,

And I can see how happy you are,

And I get to see you smile.

And even though today we are miles apart,

I thank the good Lord that you

Are part of my life,

Because life wouldn’t have been the same

If we hadn’t quiet had the pleasure to enjoy this earth

Together, in open embrace.

My friend, thank you for choosing to love yourself.   


©2013 Cassandra Huidobro

Prose.

14-

Did you see?

That night when you were invisible,

Did you see her pass by? Did you notice I was

Hidden in the mix of words and wine? Did you

Think, for one second, that I would be the one

You would pain that night?

The resemblance to one another.

The game of our speech.

The twist of the next game.

The start of a new page.

And here I am. Blank.

Did you see?

Where did my muse go?

She was here a second ago.

I was fine and now she is gone.

And the black won’t flow

And the anchor has stopped

And the thoughts won’t come

And I kiss your hand

And I beg you return

But you smile and

You leave me at your feet,

Staring at the empty cloud

Of air you left behind.

Now

There’s no prose without your love.

Please, muse.

Come back.

...

©2012 Cassandra Huidobro